Tuesday, May 20, 2008

Jesus is coming!

This image is a perfect example of what I was talking about in my introduction. This monstrosity can be found in the middle of nowhere somewhere in Georgia. It is right along the road so it is impossible to miss. That means us poor travelers have no choice but to gaze upon this abomination as we drive by. It disgusts me.

That being said, I have a few comments about the message of this sign.

1. I hate to break it to you, but Jesus is not coming. People have been talking about the second coming of Jesus and it still hasn't happened. Now, I'm just speculating here, but I have an inkling that the reason for his absence is that he doesn't exist. Sorry to break it to ya, Christians, but you will be waiting in vain for a long time.

2. Even if I am wrong and Jesus did eventually show up, I doubt he would do so on the middle of podunk town U.S.A.

3. How do you define soon? I think soon is anytime within a short time frame. Seeing as that sign looks like it has been there for several decades, I think "soon" has passed, making your sign obsolete.

People of middle-of-nowhere, Georgia - please take this outdated sign down immediately so the rest of us don't have to resist the urge to claw out our eyeballs as we drive past.


Joe said...

Hi there. i know how you feel. In the middle of southern Illinois, right off hwy. 70, stands a 500 ft. tall white cross. What really gets me are the billboards out there; try a cross with an American flag with it! nauseating to say the least. Luckily, I don't head out that way too often.
BTW, you should probably revise your first point. Jesus, the man, did exist. The romans clearly documented his infractions and punishment. Now, is he a zombie, rising from the dead to save the world? THAT I highly doubt.

Kold_Kadavr_flatliner said...

O yeah? If you think that's disgusting, my friend, what'll happen when you croak and you have no strength to pull yourself up beyond the clouds? Your soul will, assuredly, as everyone's gets judged in time. God bless you with massive discernment.

Dr. Kold_Kadavr_flatliner, M.D. said...

Glad you're with-it, for we only have 85ish years of this mortal existence. What then? HEAR YE! O HEAR YE!! Wanna be at my BIG-ol, kick-ass, party-hardy celebrating our resurrection for maaany eons in Heaven? A profusion of peace, eternal plethora of paradise, palm trees, 72ish degrees, fuzzy navels, pink, picturesque-portions-we-possess, without price, nor passwords, nor plastic? You’re more than welcome; you’re most invited --- God only gives bawls to those who see the need for humility.